Wade Forgot The Lube
by kingofstyx
Summary: Wade tries to make a special surprise for his boyfriend...but he forgets one crucial thing.


Wade ran around his dingy little apartment frantically, putting the finishing touches on the surprise for his boyfriend. Peter had called saying he would be home late today, and the merc knew how stressed he had been lately, balancing college, his job and Spidey duties. (Though Wade was secretly helping a little with that already, taking out baddies while he waited for Peter to come home every day.) But today Wade was going to give his baby boy a break, and everything was ready.

[Almost.]

{What do you mean almost, we got everything}

[Comfy blankets?]

{Check}

[Pillows?]

{Check}

[Movies?]

{Check}

[Cuddle zone?]

{Checkedy check}

[Food?]

{Checkers}

[Mess?]

{Taken care of, check}

[Video games?]

{Checkerooni}

[Comfy clothes]

{Cheeeeeck}

[Make sure we aren't bothered by anyone, no Avengers, no work, no people to save, no stupid neighbours?]

{Check, check and check. What's the problem?}

[Lube?]

{...}

[LUBE?]

{uh...}

"Fuck!"

Wade swore loudly and sprinted to the bedroom. They had to have some old stuff in here somewhere. Fuck, fuck what was he going to do without lube?

[Disappoint Peter, that's what.]

{Gotta agree with him on this one...}

"No! I can use...uh..." He looked around the room frantically and darted into the bathroom. "Toothpaste!"

[Uh...Gross, Peter won't like that.]

"He won't know..."

{Use pancake batter! That would work much better.}

"Right."

Wade dropped the toothpaste tube into the sink and went into the small kitchen to find the pancake mix.

[Peter will be able to smell this, don't be such an idiot.]

{No, pancake batter would totally work...Oh I know! We can just cum into a glass and save it for later!}

[Hmm]

"But I want to be completely horny for Petey."

{Oh, good point}

[Besides what if it hardens?]

"Cum can harden?"

[Of course it can...I think.]

{I don't know...}

"Maybe we should google it..."

[No time!]

Something vibrated against Wade's leg and he slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

 **-New Message-**

 _Hey Wade, I just got out of class. I'm on a bus now, I'll be home soon. Love you._

 **\- Peter**

"Shit, shit, shit, fuck."

 **-RE**

 _Ok baby boy, see you soon then, love you too._

 **-Wade**

He put his phone back into his sweat pants pocket and started pacing.

"Shit, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, what am I gonna do?"

{Oil?}

[Do we have any?]

"No, didn't buy any today."

{Fuck, okay what about gas. We could just go get some from the neighbours car.}

[Peter really wouldn't like that.]

"Yeah in more ways than one.." The merc bit his lip nervously and tightened his hood even though no one was there.

{Ketchup?}

"Peter doesn't even like ketchup..."

[Shampoo.]

"That could work!" Wade jumped up and ran back to the bathroom only to remember that he didn't own shampoo because he didn't have hair. "Oh, fuck." The mercenary's spirits dropped when he heard a key jingling in the lock.

{Fuck.}

[Fuck.]

Peter opened the door slowly, kicking off his shoes before stepping inside the apartment. "Hey, I'm home." He tossed his keys to the couch and set down his bag. "Wade...?" The man in question was no longer pacing in the living room. He was now (somehow) squished up inside the tiny towel closet in the hallway.

{Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!}

[Shit.]

{What are we gonna do!?}

[Don't ask me!]

{Well I don't know what the fuck to do!}

[Yeah we fucked up.]

{Shut the -}

"Shut up!"

The merc screamed at his voices and tugged at his nonexistent hair. The door to the closet opened and he fell out right onto Peter, pinning him to the wall in an awkward ballerina position. "Hey Petey, guess what, I came out for ya, get it?" Peter raised an eyebrow and maneuvered around his boyfriend. "What's wrong-." "I forgot the lube." Wade sighed, hanging his head. "I had everything ready for your surprise, but I forgot the most important thing, I'm so sorry Petey." Peter just pushed up his glasses and smiled, pulling a small bottle from his pocket and oh my god it's lube.

{Peter is perfect.}

[Yeah, we already knew that.]

"Damn right..." The little nerd giggled and smiled up at the merc. "You made me a surprise?" Wade's face broke into a wide grin and he nodded vigorously before scooping Peter up into his arms and bounding into the living room, which in reality was only like 5 steps away. He plopped the brunette down into the nest of blankets and pillows and looked down at him, placing his hands on his hips. "This, my dearest Petey-Pie, is our cuddle nest for the evening! I hope everything is suited to your liking?" He took a bow. Peter snorted but nodded, warmth spreading throughout his stomach. "Alright then, let's get this pampering show on the road!" He shouted before sitting next to Peter and pulling him into a very tight snuggle hold.

The two of them indulged in food, video-games (that Wade lost.) (I DIDN'T LOSE MY HAND HAD A CRAMP.) (That he lost.) and horror movies, (That Peter screamed at and leapt to the ceiling. Wade had to pry him down and hold him. But he didn't mind that at all.) By the end of the evening they were both under the covers on the couch, Peter resting his head on Wade's chest. Though he was a little concerned, since the Merc was being uncharacteristically quiet. He tilted his head to look over at his boyfriend. "Wade?" The man flicked his eyes down to meet Peter's. "Yeah baby boy? What's up?" Peter kissed his cheek before murmuring. "You're really quiet, are you ok?" Wade sighed softly before patting Peter's head. "I'm fine, don't worry ok."

Peter nodded but his worries didn't leave him, as Wade was still quiet. "Baby, please tell me what's wrong." He said firmly, looking up at him again. Wade sighed again, but nodded this time. "I'm just…mad at myself." "For what?" The Merc sat up. "I can never get anything right…I just want to make you happy…but I can't even pull this off without you having to do some of the work." He turned away. Peter frowned and stood up, putting his hand on his boyfriend's arm. "Wade, I carry lube around in my bag every day…it was no trouble at all. You did so much for me and I love it. I love you." He moved his hand down to curl his fingers in Wade's, holding his hand. "I love you a lot." He said, his voice soft as he leaned closer.

"I love you a lot too." The man finally murmured, turning to wrap his other arm around Peter's thin waist. Lifting him effortlessly and carrying him to the bedroom. He walked in and shut the door with his foot, squeezing Peter's thighs before dropping him onto the bed. "Well then, let's try out that lube of yours." He said, smirking as the student blushed and turned his head to the side. "Sounds perfect." He whispered as Wade crawled over top of him. Peter closed his eyes.


End file.
